Weeknote 23/2025: A lesson on trust I'll never forget
What neuroscience and personal experience has taught me about leadership, redundancy, and the minimum standard I now carry with me into every role
Hello!
Good leadership isn’t about handshakes or job titles - it’s about trust.
This post explores the neuroscience behind trust in organisations and how one school's approach to transparency, autonomy, and professional growth continues to shape how I lead and what I expect from those who lead me.
An innocent lunch
One day, a few decades ago, I was invited to a workplace meeting. Naively, I was pleasantly surprised when they suggested we go out for lunch at a nice hotel. During the lunch, we were told of the current company outlook, the tightening budget, their short-term goals for survival and that those who had remained at the office had been made redundant and would most likely be gone by the time we got back in the afternoon. The management was right, most were, but not all.
I still remember our receptionist sobbing quietly as she stoically finished her remaining work and cleared her desk. I was young. I hadn’t ever experienced anything like this. I didn’t know what to say, so - to my shame - I didn’t say anything.
I also remember returning home that evening and explaining what had happened to my partner, most likely over a cup of coffee in the garden. While the redundancies had been individually devastating, the company had been open about why these were necessary and what we all had to do to keep the company going.
I’ve been reading about the neuroscience of trust and how to preserve employee trust during organisational change lately. In his 2017 Harvard Business Review article, Paul J Zak outlines behaviours that foster trust in the workplace. One of the most relevant to my experience that day is his emphasis on the importance of sharing information broadly.
Only 40% of employees report that they are well informed about their company’s goals, strategies, and tactics. This uncertainty about the company’s direction leads to chronic stress, which inhibits the release of oxytocin and undermines teamwork. Openness is the antidote.
For whatever reason, I didn’t immediately update my CV and begin looking for a new role. Years on, I think that through strong communication and transparent goals, the company managed to retain my trust.
An attempt to understand
This early lesson in transparency would later help me recognise its absence in other workplaces.
Since that day many years ago, I have experienced redundancy and the myriad disruptions this brings along for the ride, so I can empathise when this happens to friends and colleagues. While losing your role can be devastating, being treated disrespectfully by your employers can compound these feelings and, in turn, destroy the trust remaining employees have in a company's mission. This could lead to slower innovation, higher staff turnover and an increase in quiet quitting.
I recognise that we are still working through global economic turmoil and hard decisions have to be made. Redundancy, even though it can be incredibly stressful for the individual and their family at the time, can sometimes lead to a net positive gain over time. That said, I feel strongly that we owe it to each other to navigate these difficult conversations with humility, humanity and empathy. Another behaviour Paul J Zak suggests that good leaders embody is to:
Show vulnerability. Leaders in high-trust workplaces ask for help from colleagues instead of just telling them to do things. My research team has found that this stimulates oxytocin production in others, increasing their trust and cooperation. Asking for help is a sign of a secure leader—one who engages everyone to reach goals.
I’ve worked for many managers who have, at times, forgotten that we are all humans navigating lives with differing relationships and responsibilities.
One school leader I worked with felt that shaking hands with each person at the end of the term was sufficient to balance how he treated staff for the rest of the school year. “Everyone is replaceable”, I was told on more than one occasion when discussing my professional development.
Another at the same school attempted to intimidate me by arranging an unminuted “formal meeting” to warn me that my teaching responsibilities were greater than ensuring the health of my newborn son. Funnily enough, I mentioned neither in my resignation letter (I keep these), but I will share the concluding line:
I've been very fortunate to have seen inspirational teachers at work during my time here and their influence will stay with me forever.
This was entirely true. Inspirational colleagues turned into lifelong friends: Linzie, Mark and Dave. We still make time to listen to each other, offer advice when asked, and champion each other’s amazing potential as human beings. We modelled the values we wanted to see in others, and it is jarring when I experience relationships where some or all of these values are missing.
Reunions and reflections on good leadership
I attended my first ever reunion this week, kindly invited to join the class of 2015 from Robert Gordon’s College (thank you Laura!). After getting over the shock that these former students are now in their late 20s, I spent the tour finding out about how some of their lives have progressed so far.
Former students who used to love recording segments for the BBC News School Report entries had grown into their careers in television; one with a keen interest in science was now a vulcanologist; two former CS students who kept me on my toes with their ethical hacking knowledge were successful digital nomads running their own PR company; another has established a strong reputation in data science. There were artists, dentists, musicians and doctors. It was so fulfilling to talk to them about how they had applied the lessons learned at RGC to achieve some or all of their dreams. I particularly enjoyed hearing the stories where bumps in the road resulted in the realisation that their true paths led elsewhere, and they had the confidence and resilience from their educational years to help them pivot.
Similarly, Paul J Zak argues that investing in the whole person has a powerful effect on engagement and retention:
Facilitate whole-person growth. High-trust workplaces help people develop personally as well as professionally. Numerous studies show that acquiring new work skills isn’t enough; if you’re not growing as a human being, your performance will suffer. High-trust companies adopt a growth mindset when developing talent. Some even find that when managers set clear goals, give employees the autonomy to reach them, and provide consistent feedback, the backwardlooking annual performance review is no longer necessary.
When I joined Robert Gordon’s College in late 2011, the leadership I experienced was a revelation. My professional development was valued and quickly led to my first promotion - a move that, I later learned, surprised and unsettled some of my former senior leaders. The staff community was strong; autonomy was held in high regard; trust was built quickly. I would make time for any senior leader from my years at this school, and wouldn’t be in my current role if one of these hadn’t reached out for help.
Even though I recently removed this school from my CV (limiting details of my experience to the past ten years), the trust they placed in their staff created a minimum standard: how I expect to be treated as an employee and, just as importantly, how I strive to treat others as a leader.
That experience taught me that trust isn’t earned solely through results or compliance. Instead, it is cultivated through autonomy, empathy and meaningful recognition. Any workplace that falls short of that standard now feels not just uncomfortable, but misaligned with the kind of professional I want to be.
The environments in which I thrived were not those with the fanciest perks or rigid hierarchies, but those grounded in trust, transparency, and humanity. Paul J Zak’s research confirms what many of us have felt but struggled to articulate:
Trust is not a luxury but a leadership imperative.
So ask yourself: Are you building trust or just expecting it? The answer might determine whether your best people stay or start updating their CVs.
Thanks for reading, take care and have a great week xx
Excellent piece Ian! So important, and so often grossly neglected